Sometimes, I feel like I am an imposter. I feel like I am playing at being an adult. Not about maturity- because I am just the mature-ist of the Mature because I don't always tell people when I am upset, stand up for myself or ask for a raise (hey isn't that one of the benefits of being a Catholic is for-put it on Him. Hey, he will provide, bless and take care of whatever we want- right?)
I mean sometimes I feel like I am playing at being an adult- when I am going to feel like I have it together? That I know exactly what to do? When I won't worry about how to pay a surprise bill, or will have my "signature" dish I can prepare for every dinner party that I will get invited to just because I have That recipe- and I can do decent hair on my kids. Just when I look at other women who seem so polished- in restaurants, at airports, and city streets. Head to toe polished. Brings me back to high school- walking by the cool kids table- who had swatch watches and boat shoes.
As I was driving my girls to Jacksonville in Florida, I realized that I have moments where I feel like that big girl. I feel like a big girl when I am holding a wine glass (not in an alcoholic way but feels so fancy), when I bought my first carry-on cute luggage so I don't have to check it (just last week) and when I pay off a bill rather than incur a new one. I realized that there was some things I did in my life that I think my girls should have a try at in order to maybe feel like a big girl too. (No wine involved)
- Organize a trip all the way through from start to finish and travel there by yourself. Eat at the restaurant. Read a book. Sit on a beach. By yourself.
- Drive cross-country or from one coast to another or from North to South. Play the radio too long and put the windows down like Girl Gone. Without the faked murder.
- Stand up for yourself. And say enough is enough. And feel okay with it.
- Have a go to. A got to take out place when you need to fake a dinner party. Or an outfit you know makes you feel killer.
- Challenge yourself to do something you are completely scared of and forces you to make a promise or a deal with yourself- a marathon, parasail, something that makes you feel alive.
- Own your sh*t. When you start to take ownership of your crazy, what you do to others, your challenges, it all belongs to you. You don't have to take yourself so serious. You can make fun of yourself. You can work on yourself. You don't leave yourself open to criticism and apportioned blame because you say to the world- ya this is my issue what of it. I got it. I am working it.
- Make a major decision to change your pattern. Move. Change jobs. Change circumstance. See Something. Do Something.
- Do a house project. Paint a dresser, move something without assistance, repurpose something. Something you thought you needed help or a man with. It is your nest.
- Let go of the little stuff. Leave behind all the agendas that you think someone else should follow to fix their lives. Leave behind the little stuff in your life- and realize it is okay to be "mediocre" in an area of your life. That instead of being the parent you want to be- be the parent your child needs. Be yourself to be the best friend you need. You will find mediocre is a nice place to be- it is not always finishing first or making a million dollars- and you can enjoy each day more than living a checklist life.
- Identify yourself as you first. Roles can be daughter, friend, mom, wife but first and foremost, You are You first.
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