I didn't get the job. The job that I had spent years on- waiting for "my time" as every manager told me. Wait for it- it will be your time soon. Feeling the guilt every time I had to take -I realized none of the actions that I thought would get bonus points did not work.
I also had this Little House on the Prairie notion- that if I am a nice girl and loyal and not politicking that a manager or at least God would notice and throw me a bone. This was for naught when the person who did get it- trashes management and makes inappropriate remarks. I shouldn't be surprised since this person represents every other promotion that I have watched - telling myself that my time will come- and that better things are around the corner. And that I can't change myself to join those squeaky wheels martyring themselves and treating jobs like presidential elections? But I didn't get the job- and sadly this is one of my last opportunities. I am tired. What if Oprah and all these motivation podcasts and bloggers are wrong- what if nice, moralistic girls do finish last? What if I am destined to be average? All I can do is try to find my own opportunities- be it writing like this or uber driving to stimulate my soul. I am sorry this doesn't end on a hooray the tortoise ran the race- it ends on that sucks on timing, got to keep swimming and have the memory of Dorie.
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