SingleLife: I Dated A Dermatologist

I met up with a doctor, a dermatologist- a 30-something woman's dream (besides a plastic surgeon). He tells me I will never get old as long as I date him; could it be that Ponce De Leon was just a few centuries and PhD's away from the fountain of youth? That mother lover roamed Florida for twenty years. I stumbled upon this guy because I noticed his one his online dating profile that he had "other" for his pet- who has other? Was it a snake? A ferret? A llama? The ex-wife on a leash? 

So we go on a date for lunch which turns into a 12-hour date. He was raked over the coals by his ex-wife during their divorce and he is one of the Chosen People. He tells me that his ex-wife doesn't know his discipline for withstanding pain. This woman definitely under-estimated this man- it is in his genes to be persecuted. The man was bred to withstand a divorce through forty years.

We create a list of goals for his new life on the date and he asks me for a follow-up to see Keith Walters. Wait Roger Waters? My best guy friend is crazy jelly- wants to go in drag to take my place. He knows that I don't care for Pink Floyd. I don't know any songs and it is not like you can dance to them and bob along...nooo... you want to smoke Mary Jane and have sex in your mom's basement kind of music.

The friend willing to cross-dress to get to Pink Floyd asks me if I am going to fake it. I tell him no, I am going to get drunk. I like everything when I am drunk. American Pie is my jam when I am drunk- doesn't have anything on Flo Rida. He tells he bets that I can fake it. No faking it is for 20 year olds. At 30- it is more like b* I better enjoy this in some way or you ain't coming to this party. 

Going with two doctors and the Mrs. Doctor- I am sure I am going to be exposed to some doctor humor especially when the doctors want to get drunk in a slightly uncomfortable middle-age enthusiastic way- is this going to be weird? Like when you see your parents get drunk or ran into a teacher at the bar- somethings can't be unseen.


Sure enough, I find the doctor more intrigued with the show...and his doctor friend. I then wonder if I am the beard...and I am more excited that  I got to sit on the field of the baseball stadium and touch the grass picturing the tight pants of the ghosts of the baseball players. I got some free laser out of it and he got a reference to another doctor for some Xanax- to help keep that threshold for pain going.

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