SingleLife: Online Dating Tips

Sip and Shine Podcast

Dating online has become like Coney Island or the Circus...but not the swanky Big Apple or Barnum's, it is more like a cheap one with stale cotton candy and odd stage shows like watch the trained lap-dogs. We know there is something so wrong in the circus side shows, but we can't stay away. Step right up with your nickel and let's be entertained.

There are a few basic concepts One needs to understand with online dating. Consider these Online Dating Tips per se. The older men want younger women and they are much more manipulative; they figure out what you want to hear in order to get you in bed. It's not the 20-something: "hey let's go hit the bars, do shot together and get you drunk so we can sleep together." It's more like leaving off what's in parenthesis: I want a relationship (just not with you), I want to meet someone (for twenty-four hours that is takes me to get you into bed)...I am ready for a real connection (involving our private parts). And when you call them out of any behavior, you will hear "I guess I wasn't ready" or "I am just not ready" this translates to "I need an excuse as to why I am being immature" or "you know there is a few women behind you that will tolerate the behavior you just called me out on. Next."

More Online Dating Tips

The anonymity of Online Dating brings out men with fetishes. If you aren't a fetish kind of girl, may want to be aware some of the warning signs. If a man asks what kinds of shoes you wear, and send him a picture, he isn't not trying to sweep you off your feet like Mr.Big with Carrie and a pair of shoes. He is not Prince Charming with Cinderella checking your shoe size. When a man posts in his profile he is a nudist, this may not be his way of being facetious. It's called being honest. Men online, specifically on, will ask if you prefer a certain type of sexual act in the bedroom. Let's just say that back in the ancient 1990s it probably didn't even cross your mind that it is existed. I will just leave you with that. 

If the man isn’t anxious to meet you online, it usually means you are the back-up plan for a primary target or else he has a girlfriend he is probably going through a rough patch with.

If the man isn't anxious to meet you online, it usually means you are the back-up plan for a primary target or else he has a girlfriend he is probably going through a rough patch with. In my earlier online dating days, I stumbled into this situation three times. Yes, not only did I make the mistake once, I decided to try it twice more just to be sure. First two occasions, we talked daily for four months or more without meeting (don't judge I was naive, and if you didn't read this, you may have fallen into the trap as well). It was blamed on distance and work when I pressed. I started figuring out times and schedules- only contacting me at certain time of day or "disappearing"...and lo and behold, they had girlfriends and eased their conscience- this was online and not "real." Third situation, he stood me up nine times and we talked for three months. Okay- now if I talk to a dude and we don't make plans within three emails- I am out but again this was me as a Youngin' to online dating. I was four years old again wearing a red helmet on a bike with training wheels. I fell some. I hit a few parked cars. Now I am on a ten speed and I can do wheelies. Turns out Catfish (my nickname for him) was going through a really bad breakup. When I asked him if he had a girlfriend innocently, when he hung up quick on me, he said I was scaring him with the interrogation. I was like wow, I need to be in the CIA or Homeland Defense if I can strike fear with one question. This is a superpower I do not want to abuse. That one apologized later on his behavior and asked how I knew. Women have instincts, or better known as men don't cover their tracks as well as women do. That one apologized later on about this behavior and asked how I knew. Women have instincts, or better known as men don't cover their cover their tracks as well women do. In these long textual relationships- women create connections via text and email. Men, not so much, it can be anyone on the other side of the smartphone they are getting attention from and because they are so great at categorizing their lives. They can turn it on and off. So if a Dude wants to meet you- he will walk across like Jesus or will drive his butt out to see you even if it is a metro ride and a taxi ride.

And yet some more Online Dating Tips

Lastly, we can not forget the small segment of men online who use it as a social outlet like Facebook or just want to email you about themselves with no intentions to meet. These socially shy or narcissists are the Pen Pals. Can't leave those ones out. Such sweet men- but they may be better off  sending old ladies in nursing homes cards and letters- their attentions would be better appreciated in the segment of the population that has out-lived men. And they can do crossword puzzles together- over skype.

So Women are the Keepers of the Keys of The Kingdom- the lady parts. Men will want to have access to that. It's a woman's place to say no (or yes). Men like it. Women like it. Men are going to tell you what you want to hear in order to sleep with you. Women find out what you want in a woman (or just "showcase" those properties more so) in order to land the Man. It's mutual deception. And the secret of getting the Man to follow the breadcrumbs down the path like Hansel and Gretel...and to ease the man into the situation before he realizes he can't get out. Get Hansel in the Oven before he realizes what happened! Wow this is so great- the bed stuff is so great. Hanging out is so great. Wait, it's getting a little hot in here...where am I? Oh wait, you are my girlfriend now? 

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