So in this posting, I decided to include some recent inner musings of myself. So this is probably as pointless as it seems some of the things I have been doing in my life lately. At times, I feel like I am running a marathon with no finish line. However, now, I am running with a glass of wine in my hand and hobbling in cute heeled boots- leather knee high black boots for the winter. I am trying not to break a leg, but maybe I can just sprain my ankle a little bit so I can take a break and get out of taking my physical fitness test for a few weeks at my job. The kids will wait on me and I can have the remote when we are watching tv because they will take pity on me.
So we got our first flurries in the Washington, D.C. area. The girls have been waiting all winter- only for it to be a few drops on the tongue and cleared up for a beautiful day. The next door neighbor, John, whose car my son smashed through when he fell from the balcony, has the worst luck in the building with us Crazies. Last year, he got hit up by the neighbors to administer a catheter to the old man who had peed in two days when we got hit by a blizzard. Mind you, he is not a medical guy just had the same equipment as Said Man. He goes, I am not" "Not this motherf*cker, that's where I draw the line on neighborly help," with a nervous giggle. No wonder he didn't blink an eye when my son smashed through his car. He said when they called an ambulance, the EMS crew got there and said they didn't do catheters. Poor John- worst luck in the neighbor lottery.
So I synced my phone with my computer- finally downloaded all 3000 pictures and upgraded the new Apple Software. So when I synced my phone with Onstagram with contacts- it seems that someone in my Contact List- is now working in the porn industry. Apparently a college girl. I think it was one of my girls' babysitters- because we hired a lot of them through care.com (not Craigslist if that was what you were thinking). Hey no judgment here, struggle is real, and most of the girls went to George Mason. I always knew one day I would see someone I knew on Pornhub- I am just glad it wasn't me or my daughters. Score One for me.
I have been sick for a month. A good solid month. I think I have the plague. I have taken steriods. IVs of steriods. Antibiotics. A mixture of medications that border on overdoses. I am delirious half the time- and have no concept of time, what I have said to people, and this isn't even under the influence of alcohol. So I am watching a lot of ID Channel- and I discovered a show called The Truth Is Stranger Than Florida. Finally- someone acknolwedges a lot of crazy sh*t goes down in Florida. What is it? But it seems a lot of serial killers, those dumb criminals profiles (like man robs himself in his underwear and gets caught) and drug stories go down in Florida. I think Erika Jayne's husband (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) needs to go down with her make-up squad/sexy gay men team she keeps around her- and do some investigation on what's going on with the water- and maybe shoot a video. What a tax write-off heaven.
Lastly, I am thinking about what is up with my sister. They shot the show Blindspot in the property owned next door (by my brother-in-law's family); so they are not completely off the grid. However, they are a netflix or hulu show waiting to happen- or maybe even low budget sci fi channel. I think a lot of those creepy shows are moving to the pay streaming services though. She babysits a pig. The neighbor across the road eats his cearal on the porch- naked. Everytime I drive through her black dirt farm neighborhood- I look for crop circles. It is the Unsolved Mysteries rerun meets Cropsy documentary scenery. Goats named Spaghetti and Meatball wander through her backyard- okay maybe a little Green Acres mixed in. My brother-in-law has every Wheel of Fortune episode on VHS tape- and he watches the reruns of it. But she has weird neighbors- I think she picked this area to make herself feel normal.
Well happy new year- Cheers to the new one.
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